Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Is this a Dada I see before me?

This is what happened when the dishwasher gave up the ghost: The Dada looking cutlery used to be Viners, and the Art Deco swirls used to be the wheels which transport the trays.
I'm glad to report that the dishwasher saga (1) has come to an end, and the new one is finally humming away in the kitchen as we speak, or rather, as I type. Actually, I can't hear the dishwasher at all, because the washing machine is making such a racket - but that's another story (and incidentally, related to a racket-free sport, s.b.). The one about the dishwasher is as follows: In order to speed up the process of replacing the old one, we thought we'd order it on-line. Argos had the same brand in their catalogue, so we went for it as the old one had had a good innings (sorry, these sport related metaphors just keep coming...).
(Nearly 20 years, I should think. The baby I was still breast-feeding when I decided, admittedly in one of my less lucid moments, to study for an MBA, is 20 now. How on earth would I have coped without that dishwasher, when I was also teaching part-time? - Yeah, actually, how did I cope? These days, I hardly manage clearing up, shopping and cooking before anyone's home... - So, if I didn't have it during the first year, I certainly had it during my second year. And apart from losing the use of the dishwasher tablet compartment and the opening mechanism/handle, which had lately added the danger of electrocution if you forgot to switch it off prior to opening, it had been a good kitchen slave.)
Delivery should have been within 7 days, which sounded normal, but then I got a message that they'd contact me within 7 days to arrange delivery. That day passed and it was 2 days later before they rang, with the delivery date yet another couple of days away. When the man arrived he declared he could not get through into the kitchen without the fridge-freezer removed, and wasn't to be convinced otherwise even when I told him that we got the old cooker out and the new cooker in, both being the 60cm norm, and HEAVY, without moving the fridge-freezer. He was adamant that this could only be done with 2 people (granted) and a trolley. Wasn't there a way into the kitchen from the back? Hmm, yes, in fact there's a service road to the back of the property, which would be very convenient IF one could actually open the back gate, and IF said gate wasn't totally blocked from this side with - how shall I put it? - garden debris. I said if that was the only way to do it then we'd have to get all this sorted over the weekend. He said the only other thing he could do is leave the machine in the hall. Well, that was not exactly where I wanted it, and I had paid the extra for the old machine to be removed. Ah, he said, but we expect the old machine to be disconnected and ready for us outside. Nothing of the sort had been specified when I made my payment, I said, and he explained to me that he comes directly from the manufacturer, whereas my payment went to Argos, and did I understand that they would not connect the new machine either. Well, from what I could see this did not exactly need an electrician or plumber, did one not just unscrew this hose and screw the new one back on? He wasn't at liberty to tell. SO, he left me with a number to ring, taking my dishwasher back with him.
Only people who know my BH will appreciate exactly what ensued when I had to explain the absence of a new dishwasher, and the necessity of clearing the back garden. Apparently, the new dishwasher in the hall would have been the better choice... As it was, I did eventually locate the correct key for the padlock but - as usual - it was too rusty to be opened.
To cut a long story short: the dishwasher was delivered last Thursday, 15 days after ordering it. So much for speeding up the process! I could just as well have done the research for the best offer or indeed bought one on ebay! Especially as we had to move the old one ourselves anyway! Once outside, it was gone within hours, by the way. So much for paying the extra. (Oh yes, and dis- and re-connecting IS as easy as I thought.)

I cannot describe just how much better life is now. It was hard to believe just how much time it took to do the washing up (and that was with just 2 of us in the house most of the time), and also how badly the dishes were done! Had we become de-skilled, or had we been spoilt by a sparkling perfection that couldn't be achieved by hand? We'll never know. My eldest, the above mentioned baby, the one who never had to do the washing up in this house but, ironically, now earns his living as a "wash pig", had seriously suggested not to get the dishwasher replaced, for ecological reasons. I simply smiled mildly, and kept my thoughts to myself. You know, the ones that you'd love to ram down their throats, like "Just because you are foolish enough to think washing dishes is an appropriate career move for a bright lad with plenty of GCSEs and a couple of A-levels, doesn't mean that the rest of us have to follow!"

We might have been able to live with a faulty cooker and toilet for more years than any other family would have managed, but life without a dishwasher??!! That's almost as ridiculous as life without a washing machine! For Pete's sake, let's not even think about the
grumbling of the latter, and hope that it is going to keep up with the ever increasing onslaught of mud and grit - wherever the boy plays (no 8 for school; flanker/7 for club; flanker/6 for county (2)), he always seems to be at the bottom of the rook (or whatever the impromptu pile-ups are called), bringing a sizeable percentage of the pitch back with him. It's a good job that the training sessions are on astro-turf!

PS: Oh yes, just in case you were wondering: it is Macbeth,
"Is this a dagger which I see before me..." (Macbeth, II, i, 33)
(1) Why does everything we do, result in a saga? I've got friends in Germany who dubbed me Katastrophenmaus because I never managed to arrive at their house without a narrative of a disaster that had befallen me on the way over (hence, catastrophe; mouse because I'm little...)
(2) They won their first match on Sunday, beating Herefordshire by 20 - 0; yeah!


Anonymous said...

Funny, we just had a saga with the delivery of our new dishwasher too! They dragged it into the house, up the steps no problem and then announced there was no way it would fit into the hole from whch we had removed the old one. "I told you to measure it" I reprimanded my husband. "I thought they were all standard" he said. "Do yo want us to leave it here in the hall?" (sound familiar?) asked the delivery men. No way, we paid for installation and taking away of old dishwasher we said. Well they obliged with the latter, but not the former. They tried to ring in to the company (Darty, equivalent of Comet I think) to check what to do. But we now think they were feigning this and just wanted to get home early! When we talked to the company they were amazed, yes they are all standard (oops, sorry Dominique!), they obviously wanted to get home early. After a wait of another week up they drove again, up the steps and into the designated space went the dishwasher with no problem! What a surprise!! Needless to say I did NOT offer them a cup of coffee! So you see, it is apparently a European phenomenon, the reluctant dishwasher deliverer and installer!
Andrea, in France

Zabeena said...

OMG! That's uncanny!!!
Thanks for stopping by, will be in touch soon!!

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